Though narcissism is a trait found to some degree in nearly all people, the “narcissist” label is frequently misapplied. It’s a genuine psychological disorder that’s not to be taken lightly. Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental condition in which people have troubled relationships, an exaggerated sense of self-importance, an insatiable need for excessive admiration and attention, and a lack of empathy for other people. But behind their confidence and self-assurance lies fragile self-esteems that are sensitive to even slight criticism.
Only about 1 percent of the population experiences true “narcissistic personality disorder.” As with most other psychological issues, there’s a continuum of severity. Some people simply have narcissistic tendencies, while others are inescapably involved in the behavioral patterns that are associated with it.
What Causes Narcissism?
Nobody is born a narcissist. People don’t turn into narcissists because they want to hurt other people. The actual cause is childhood trauma, which impedes their capacity to operate with others and themselves in a healthy way. Childhood trauma and emotional abuse are always at the core of narcissism.
People long for unconditional love above everything else. But sadly, some children learn to expect that they can’t simply be loved for who they are; love would only come if they were impressive or perfect. They were taught that they wouldn’t be loved unconditionally, so they formulate a fictional version of themselves that they feel would be more worthy to receive love. Also involved is being shamed for expressing emotions in childhood, or from feelings of abandonment when they risked opening up. When their alternate self is threatened in any way, they become alienated or lash out.
A lack of unconditional love is severely traumatic to a child. This is where their emotionally abusive tendencies come from. When narcissists feel that their false self is threatened, their fear is overwhelming, so they lash out in an attempt to distance themselves. This closes off their hearts, so the way they deal with emotions, relationships, others, and self is corrupted. This is why narcissists appear to lack empathy—their intuitive response to trauma was to shut down.
The more self-aggrandizing someone is, the higher the stakes of rejection in early life will be. Opening up to experience their true emotions feels so threatening that they block their natural response to those emotions. But this also unconsciously prevents them from feeling understanding and empathy toward other people.
Narcissists exist within their own rendition of reality they created to nurture and support their false selves. They become entangled in continual stressful internal battles with themselves and become even more insecure when they feel that other people are trying to overcome their defenses. So, narcissists are therefore attracted to other people who they feel will accept their false self and alternate reality. If they sense that someone can see who they truly are underneath. It’s common for them to unconsciously draw lightworkers, healers, and empaths into their lives.
They often end up using and abusing these people because they perceive them as “safe.” They avoid openness and true vulnerability because they fear they’ll be rejected, so they view genuine love as threatening.
When You Encounter a Narcissist
Interacting with a narcissist is a challenge, but the proverbial lock can be opened, using love as the key. Don’t believe other people when they say it’s not possible. You wouldn’t still be trying if it was. When done in the right way, it can be a fairly quick and simple process.
Regardless of the narcissistic person’s behavior, he or she is still a spiritual being of love and light, just as you are. Attacking will only exacerbate the problem. The more attention you pay to the alternate self, the stronger it will grow, so always attempt to see behind it.
For best results, try not to concentrate on the created alternate self. Focus instead on their true, higher self, and try to resolve the source causes of the behavior on a spiritual level. Their behavior does not involve malicious intent. It’s simply driven by fear that has nothing to do with you. It’s rooted in their past trauma. Inside their alternate self, they’re an immortal spiritual being that’s composed of love and longs for love, which they think they won’t receive unconditionally.
Here are some more tips for dealing with a narcissist.
- Listen to your intuition and stay safe. If you feel threatened, retreat.
- Don’t fight hostility with hostility. They may block you, or get vindictive or aggressive.
- Don’t be judgmental. This will only create more distance between you.
- Don’t try fixing things externally. Resolve things behind the scenes, internally, with spiritual healing techniques.
- Disregard the drama and ego as much as you can. Interact instead with their spiritual self.
The Spiritual Perspective
Abuse is an outward expression of the inner desire to self-harm. Narcissists are projecting their pain and loneliness onto others. And many loving, generous people attract wounded partners. This is among the most complex reality regarding love in the physical realm. Narcissists feel so unloved and unlovable that they construct an alternate self to give and receive love.
Maintain your existence in a spiritual state so you don’t align with other people’s trauma. It could pull you in and block you from following your optimal path. We’re all immortal beings of light who are equally loved and sustained by the universe. So, it isn’t your job to fix anybody.
If your partner is displaying narcissistic behaviors, remember their true self. Concentrate on their inner light, work with them spiritually to purify the energy of emotional wounds and trauma, help them recover, and picture yourselves content and happy.
Nothing is impossible. The way to overcome deep trauma is unconditional love. When we clear our energy, we increase our spiritual potential and our real-world circumstances undergo a positive shift as well. You’re still there for a reason, and it’s certainly possible to resolve the situation.
Don’t assume that your current circumstances are the only possible reality. Take action to change things for the better. Follow your intuition. It always works to protect you and to guide you to love and peace. Above everything else, don’t neglect self-care. You deserve it.