When you figure out that you don’t love someone, it can be hard to end the relationship. You don’t want to hurt someone, and this can be emotional. There are ways that you can end a relationship easier and save some of the pain.
Ending the Relationship
The first thing that you have to decide is if you are sure that you want to end the relationship or not. This can mean that you want to move on with your life. You should base your decision on leaving on long term and not just a little disagreement that happened.
If you are in a relationship where there is manipulation or abuse, this is a relationship that you should leave without question.
Deciding if you want to stay or leave a relationship can be hard but you need to weigh the goods and bads. Look for red flags and toxic traits. Put a list together of the good and bad things and figure out if staying is your best option.
- What to Say
Once you decide to break up, you have to decide what you’re going to say. It can be emotional to be in this situation and if the other person wants to stay and you don’t then you need to make sure that you are saying the right things. Don’t let the last conversation that you have with that person get out of control.
- Make A Checklist
Instead of trying to just wing what you’re going to say, make a checklist of things that you want to point out. There might be certain things that you need to address. Don’t wait until the day that you’re going to have the conversation but plan ahead on what you’re going to say.
Write down your thoughts and then put them into words. Talk about anything negative such as embarrassment or red flags. If the list is super long, decide what and what not you’re going to say.
- Focus on Now
It is important that even though you have to focus on things that are negative that you focus on what is going on now. Say things like, “I felt,” and make sure that you use “you” statements so that you aren’t blaming. You shouldn’t go back into the past on things that they had done.
The best thing is that you can create a way to express your feelings, and this is a way to give you power to leave a relationship that makes you unhappy. No one can prepare for being dumped and this will hurt but as time goes on, you will see that the pain and anger will go away with time.
It is possible that you will be hurt or angry about what you are talking about but be prepared for what you need to say and what actions you are going to take. You need to also prepare for the actions that your partner might have to the breakup.
Where to Break Up
It depends on where you break up with your partner as to who they are and what you think will happen. If you’re breaking up with someone violent, do it in a public place. If you break up with someone kind and loving, do it in a private place.
Never break up with someone in a way that is going to make them feel embarrassed and make sure that you are having compassion and care when you say the things that you need to say.
Text Break Up
Breaking up by text is never a real good idea. This is impersonal and can be hurtful. But of course, there are exceptions to this such as someone that is too clingy or someone that will go to extremes to not listen to you. If your safety is in check, you need to make sure that you leave the relationship totally. You can do this by text if that makes you safer.
If you decide that meeting someone to breakup up with them will make it harder to leave them, then doing a breakup text will work. Just be firm with your words.
Where Not to Break Up
You should make sure that you don’t break up with someone where you go often. This could be a place that they will come back to you to look for you. You don’t want them to come back looking for you and making the breakup harder.
Find a place that you don’t go often and where you won’t be interrupted. Don’t go to the bar or to concerts or places that will be too loud for them to hear you. You can go to a place where you will eat dinner but not somewhere that is special to you or somewhere that you went on a first date.
To give them the bad news, don’t make it a place that will cause them to feel that they are experiencing extra hurt. Consider the breakup a business meeting so that they will be serious.
Positive Finale
The best thing that you can do is to leave them with a good impression of who you are. Even if you breakup with them and you do it in a kind way, you will see that you can let some of the hurt go. Suggest that they move on and don’t bend backwards to make them feel that you’re going to come back to them.
You need to make sure that they know that the relationship is over and don’t give them false hope. You can do this in a positive way, and you can see that the ending will be one that can bring hope for their future and yours with someone else.
It can be hard to imagine that there is a final breakup and then you will get back together later. As years go on, if something does happen again, so be it, but leave it in the past and let the universe guide you.
Final Thoughts
Breaking up isn’t easy and no two breakups look the same. Write down what you need to say and make sure that they know that the breakup is a permeant thing. Don’t give false hope and try to be loving and compassionate without embarrassing them.
When you have a plan on what you want, stick with it, and allow yourself to live a happier life by yourself or with someone else that you can love.